Effects of Emotional Abuse

Welcome to our website. The effects of emotional abuse can last a lifetime long after the abuse is over, unless we become aware of what has happened and make specific changes.

Custom Search

We hope you find the answers with your situation or with your friends or family.

In this section, we are going to talk about the general effects of emotional abuse and the various ways it remains in our lives. Pain and suffering do not end the second the abuser leaves us and the relationship ceases.

The terrible thing about this type of abuse is that the energy remains within us to abuse ourselves further the rest of our life.

As our original abuser leaves and the first abuse setting fades away, we tend to replace it with another abuser and another setting of helplessness of our own creation.

Effects of emotional abuse remain as a pattern for the majority of our life if we do not consciously change it.

This replication process happens for several reasons. The first reason is that is the way our own subconscious mind tries to finish its unfinished business. That which we try to escape and run away from, is exactly that which we build for ourselves to go into to escape! Second, it is a way for us to borrow virtue. When we feel that we have no virtue within ourselves, we can ‘borrow’ it by becoming a victim.

The popular perception of all victims is that they are innocent and without blame. By ourselves becoming victim to an abuser, we put ourselves on a platform where we deserve sympathy, and love, if only from within ourselves. By being a victim, we have a calling card of virtue we can reach out to the outside world around us with and plead for sympathy. “Look how cruelly my husband or boss is treating me!”

It is also a way to replicate the security and the boundaries of childhood, in which we felt familiar, and are too afraid to leave. While we feel secure as abused victims, we imprison ourselves in our worlds as adults.

The end we hope for is that our abuser someday will break down, give us apologies, love, and finally give us the approval for which we seek. We hope someday they will understand how hurt we are, how much we need them to love us, so we can leave.

The very fact the abuser is withholding approval from us ties us ever stronger to the abuser because we feel we need their approval to go our own way on in life. They being a wise abuser know this, so they keep us in rejection and abuse so we cannot leave. For the victim the strongest effect is the need to replicate relationships in which abuse continues.

These relationships may be our boyfriends, spouses, employers, church leaders, husbands, coaches, or our original parents themselves, by not ever leaving home, even into adulthood.

The strongest effect for the abuser is to seek out and find other victims to abuse. Abusers see victims as a way to balance justice for them selves as they right some wrong done to them earlier in life. Abusers need to control other people who they despise.

They feel anger at something about which they are not supposed to feel angry. Where this unusual agenda comes from is their parents abusing them as children. We all have a natural tendency to avoid confrontation with parent figures so we find a more suitable target later on.