Rebound Relationships

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Rebound relationships are not about the current association, they are about one of the partners’ previous associations, and their negative, unfinished business. The current partner will end up the victim if they do not understand their options.

Welcome to our website. When we enter an association with another person, it is a great investment of our time and emotional assets. We want to know that they will return nurturement and love to us as we choose to nurture and love them.

The emotional part of us needs to love others and to have them return comfort and security back to us in return.

The problem is oftentimes we feel we are buying a product sight unseen, because we cannot tell what is inside them until after the emotional purchase is complete.

There are ways you can tell, and we will discuss a few of those ways right here!

Many people think if enough time has passed between friendships, that the subsequent relationship will not be a rebound relationship.

That is not always the case! The first thing people usually do when looking for the emotional stability of a prospective partner is to measure the time since their last deep attachment.

While to go on a date with someone whose wife died, or left them, last week would be a red flag, a longer length of time may not indicate healing either.

Oftentimes dysfunctional partners may go years without a significant relationship, in which time no emotional resolution has taken place. In that case, it does not matter whether a day or a decade has passed they have undergone no closure.

Any new relationship will immediately resume any unfinished business of the previous one, even from twenty years ago.

How long since their last significant relationship, and, how do they share what that last relationship was about, to you. If it has been thirty years without a deep association to anyone, and then you come along, chances are you will take the gunfire from the last partner’s actions.

If however the prospective partner has had deep relationships and casual relationships to varying degrees all along, they are demonstrating their tendency for intimacy, and that is a comfortable sign.

The next sign to look for is how much of your uniqueness does our new partner reflect back to us.

We are not John or Jane Doe, the previous partner, we are ‘we.’ If over a short time, we start to sense subtle, discreet signals on our emotional radar screen that he or she is projecting his expectations from Mr. or Mrs. Previous onto us, we must be sure and pay attention to that!

Do not ignore these very clear signals with the pretense that they do not know us yet, and after a time they will accept us for who we are. That is not going to happen.

Rebound relationships always begin with each person trying to change the other early on, as they maneuver to get their partner to need them, as leverage to force their demands.

The overall feeling we will get from them is that they are projecting their responsibility to find their happiness onto us. It is not our job to make them feel complete; it is their job.

They will start to relate more to us in ‘what we should be doing’ to make them happy, and less about ‘what unique beauty in us is making them happy. If they do that, then we know you have a loser!

With any rebound relationship there will develop an unequal exchange of emotional currency over a short time. The loser will turn the association from one of mutual benefit and nurturing into one of being all about them, and less about us.

While the techniques and rationales will be discreet and confusing, to hide their violation of our boundaries, we will be able to detect that something about them is poisoning, loud and clear, just the same.

We will just not be able to put it into words what they are doing, so we can stop them. They do that on purpose so we cannot see that they are violating our soul boundaries.

Have you read of these before? We refer to them many times on this site so that they can become second nature.

When we look at the everyday interaction with our partner, and if our partner is constantly arguing with us about what is happening, it is probably about what we should see is happening, according to them.

We will be able to see that manipulation clearly. That is the greatest sign of a rebound relationship, which is not going to heal.

A rebound relationship loser will constantly refer to us as being unrealistic, irrational, too emotional, or too selfish. What that really means is that we are not letting them force their views, feelings, thoughts, and choices into our head.

The biggest way not to go into a rebound relationship is to give our self some time to heal from our last relationship before we start a new one.

What happens if the other person is coming off a rebound relationship himself or herself, and not us? The same rule applies. If we have allowed our self enough time to heal and finish a previous relationship, then we are more likely to attract another significant other who has healed as well.

In the psychic world of relationships it is an unbreakable law that we will attract to ourselves that which mirrors our inner self every time!

It is supremely important that we remain in control of all our associations. Detection is defense, and the second a relationship gives any sign of unhealthy manipulation then we must gain the high ground.

We must communicate to our partner in no uncertain terms that no emotional warfare will be tolerated. If the incursion was an indication of this person's nature, then dump them and do not waste any further time.

Life is too short, and there are many good people out there waiting to meet us, and treat us right.

Rebound Relationships and How You Can Protect Yourself