Teen Depression: Recognizing Depression in Teenagers
Earlier at this link we talked about teen depression and dealing with Christian teenagers in general.
Dealing with Christian Teenagers. This was a discussion for any concerned adults: parents, youth workers and teachers. It discusses a few basics to help us feel comfortable in leading them in church, school, civic and athletic activities. What we learned is that teens do not need a best friend necessarily; they just need a safe and consistent environment to interact with each other. What teens want most are both boundaries and love to make them feel secure, as they socialize. Teen Depression We must know our own selves first Once we have a good sense of who we are, and we 'are feeling comfortable inside our own skin' as we call it, we can then be emotionally available to look out for them. Teens do not need buddies, they need role models as to how to handle stress with open honesty. Teen Depression and Lack of Peer Interaction Peer interaction is a spiritual nutrient all young people need, however it is very difficult if something is bothering them. Depression, anxiety and emotional distress affects teens with severe consequences when they cannot get that, and the best defense is an aware and caring adult to notice when something is not quite right. Their social need is astronomical and depriving this can affect their development. We must balance their social need with personal discipline to complete other tasks such as homework and chores. Teen Depression and Normalcy There are certain common characteristics of depression, anxiety and dangerous stress, listed at the bottom. However as a standard they do not apply across the board to show us who may be suffering in emotional pain and who is not. For example, one symptom of depression might be withdrawal and shyness, and a hesitancy to speak. Does that mean that every teenager who demonstrates such behaviors is manifesting symptoms of depression? Not, since most youth show that characteristic at some point as they grow up. However, we must look for these characteristics of teen depressionsubjectively, not objectively. Using Subjective Detection to See Those with Teen Depression These subjective assessments are not a comparison to the other youth in the group as a median, but a comparison to the youth to him or her self. We do not ask our self if this teen is as outgoing as the other teens in the group and is this teen normal and healthy because of that. We are asking our self if this teen is as outgoing as is right for his personality and for what is comfortable for him or her. We do not compare the teen to others and a standard median; we compare the teen to him or her self. This of course involves a very powerful psychic sense which we call our 'gut feeling.' This subtle inner sense is what we develop over time as emotionally empowered adults and is also our intuition. Law enforcement personnel train to develop it and it is in their curriculum. This skill is from the Latin root word 'Intare,' which means 'knowing without knowing why.' If our heads are together and our hearts are right as adults, it will create clarity in vision with which we will be able to detect the slightest distress in those teenagers in our charge. With enough love, attention and practice we will be able to sense when something is not right with this boy or that girl. It is entirely possible for the most outspoken person in the group to be suffering with depression, or the quietest person in the group to be perfectly fine and very at ease, and in their element. Experience with youth will allow us to see beyond the norms and see the individual for how well they are filling their own shoes in the group and in their life, or if they are holding back because something is bothering them. Teen Depression is mostly caused by self esteem need, more than medical need. Teen depression is strongest in girls with bad body image because for the developing girl that image is about ninety five percent of her self esteem. It is a biological hard wired thing that will pass as they level off into maturity. Inappropriate attention from immoral adults as well as boys their age can cause traumatic consequences. Teenage boys have their pitfalls too as they may attach too much of their self esteem to social or biological mile markers. These mile markers can create serious self doubts and even teen depression when they do not materialize at their expected times. These mile markers are called 'firsts,' such as a first shave, a first kiss, first sex, or a first girlfriend, party, car, apartment or job. A standard for young men is the first sex, and if it does not happen until the early or mid twenties, then these self doubts can become serious black marks on our manly self esteem. Girls do not carry this burden but others just as weighty.
All things being equal here are some characteristics that might indicate teen depression and anxiety: Seeks to be alone, and is hesitant to talk about things, even when prodded by caring adults. Have very few friends Does not participate in group activities Does not speak up in class Poor attendance at school May have trouble sleeping Diet problems or eating extremes Acquires the ability to be invisible in their own life, the perfect child Trouble managing time, and meeting appointments and school schedules Poor grades in school and meeting assignment deadlines Fighting and bullying, either as a victim or a bully May hang out with persons who are not like them Demonstrate temper and low boiling point on certain subjects Expresses themselves with subtle things such as extreme pictures, liking certain songs or certain events or ideologies Unusual dress and hair styles and adornments (be careful with this one!) Perfectionist and very absolutist ideals Strong inflexible thinking and one way to see things Showing animosity against a group or espousing an extreme standard Awkwardness in social situations and especially around peers Withdrawal and immersion into isolating activities such as video games, computer and online, where face to face interaction is not possible Spending inappropriate amounts of time daydreaming, staying in their room and not interacting with family members at dinner times Doing any odd behavior often for the sake of getting noticed, but confusing to the one noticing, as to why Obsessing over dress and personal hygiene issues Keeping their rooms inspection perfect and unusually clean Leaving their room extremely dirty and unorganized Destroying things of value to them Abuses and is cruel to animals, plants and insects and expresses lack of compassion to lesser creatures Interest in pornography or acts out in some dark way their sexuality Is unexpectedly aggressive, rebellious, or hurtful to a loving adult without provocation-to test if their love will remain If a teenager and someone you love deeply is showing any of the behaviors above, they could be symptoms of depression, anxiety and in great pain. If you get a gut feeling that something is not right, then it is urgent that you check it out and offer help. It is better to err on the side of safety, than to have the sufferer do something drastic to themselves or others. Even if they bear their burden in silence, even one person in suffering is too many. You do not have to be their parent to make a difference. Sometimes kids would feel more comfortable talking to an adult that is not a relative, strange but true!
Approaching Your Troubled Teen
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