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Characteristics of Emotional Abuse, as Seen Through Four ViewsWe are going to look at the characteristics of emotional abuse in four different perspectives, the characteristics, dependency, cycles, and the long-term effects, into one big picture. We will begin by looking at what we call our original setting. An original setting is a family with an emotionally needful parent as the caregiver, and a child of that parent by birth or adoption. The child has no say in the fact he or she was born into this family. This rejection of the child by the abuser bonds the child to the abuser, and to the fact that self-esteem comes from an external relationship rather than from within them selves, a deadly poisoning lesson to learn! The other deadly lessons the child learns are that they are not okay, they do not deserve love, and that love is conditional upon servitude and performance. Nevertheless, the deadliest lesson of all is that they must divorce themselves from their personhood rights. Those rights are seeing things through your own eyes, feeling your own feelings, thinking your own thoughts, and lastly, making your own choices. Characteristics of emotional abuse for the parent mean needing to abuse and humiliate a dependent person to feel in control in life, since they themselves have no control over their self-esteem. The relationships are always in much closed families, and they tolerate little outside contact with the world. Obedience to the caregiver by fear is the bond, not love or open acceptance or worship of each other, to meet their loved one’s needs. Emotional abuse dependency The second characteristics of emotional abuse are emotional abuse dependency. Once one has experienced emotional abuse, the dependency to replicate the abuse setting controls the life of the victim. The adult victim will seek out and establish relationships with an abuser or a victim. They base their relationships on fear, obedience, and force through authority. The need to duplicate the shaming and abuse settings is so strong that almost no one ever escapes their entire lives! If the abused person removes himself or herself from one setting, they will only duplicate it with another abuser, oftentimes even more dysfunctional and hostile than the first. Abusers need a codependent person to control to make themselves feel complete, and a victim needs an abuser so they can ‘borrow virtue’ by being an innocent loyal, and therefore virtuous person. They need to get virtue in that way for sympathy from others and for a sense of virtue themselves, since they feel no self-virtue naturally within. Cycles of emotional abuse The third characteristics of emotional abuse are what we call the cycles of emotional abuse. What we mean by that are the way the parent to child relationships pass on unchanged from one generation to the next, until the cycle of abuse and non nurturement is broken by a change of behavior. This abusive cycle of shame and hatred may go on for thousands of years until nurturement becomes complete by some stronger soul. We create the fiber of human consciousness in the intimacy and nurturement between parent and child. What skill the parent has for showing love for the child, and recognizing the emotional needs of the child will create the reality between the child and his or her world around them. The lack of self-esteem of the child will create that reality around them. A parent who ignores their child’s fear or loneliness will create a child who will forever seek out a parent who will recognize their need for comfort, but they will always seek it from an abuser, never a nurturer! Long-term effects of emotional abuse The fourth characteristics of emotional abuse are what we call the long-term effects of emotional abuse. Emotionally abused and shame based persons create their own hostile reality in two ways. The first way is they duplicate the settings of their original abuse by finding hostile environments that duplicate their childhoods. These settings are the neighborhoods in which they choose to live, and in employment in jobs with abusive management. The second way is to seek out equally abusive, non-intimate persons like themselves, with which to establish deep relationships. They see the world as a hostile environment in which they need each other to survive. Emotionally abused persons do not experience any lack of spiritual communication with the life of humanity. An emotionally disconnected person has the same psychic ability to find his or her own kind as a spiritually empowered person does with a strong spiritual maturity. One would think emotionally abused persons would have less spiritual control over their lives than would an emotionally empowered person, but this is not so! One of the strangest characteristics of emotional abuse is emotionally abused people, even to the extent of being almost a reptile, as my parents were, have profound ability to find other reptile type humanoids just like themselves. In their closed worlds, they create their own little islands of hardship, shame, and scarcity amid the vast seas of prosperity and nurturement around them.
For more on this subject please consider our first in series book Overcoming Depression from Emotional Abuse/The Tools of Your Mind. It specifically addresses emotional abuse and relationship issues, and God's intended lessons behind it. We take you through your spiritual journey back home to your Original Self. We talk about God's purpose behind that soul’s journey, as we follow our heart’s dreams to our ultimate destiny. We answer many questions about selfishness, prosperity, psychotherapy, and finding our dreams and happiness. We share much about boundaries. We also talk about the spiritual controls we have within to bring our good to us. Those controls are our Sincerity Switch, Spontaneity Switch, and lastly our Feelings and Dreams Switch. This is the ultimate book for your type of situation.
God bless you in your journey or in the help of your friends. We would love to hear from you! Please contact us to share your trials and victories with us! We answer every Email personally. Thanks for visiting. Shayne and Lori North Leave Characteristics of Emotional Abuse and return to Emotional Abuse and its Effects
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