How to Have High Self Esteem

Having a high self esteem is a right not only for the rich, talented and famous, but is also a birthright for all of us.

Welcome to our website. Thank you for visiting us. As we talk about how to have this necessary trait, we will talk about it from another more relevant angle. This is the other side of the same subject, which is the more critical issue. This issue is why we may not have our strong ego in the first place. That is the perspective we will use to address this subject here. Having a strong ego is a natural manifestation of good wholesome parenting. We all have the potential to be beautiful and powerful individuals with the right coaching from our parents. Nevertheless, we are all not here to learn the same soul lessons, and as a result, life has to deal us different hands from which we are to learn.

Having a very weak ego is a manifestation of lack of a parent figure, or worse, of a bad parent figure. Having A weak ego is not a manifestation of character or that God is cruel and unjust, or that he does not love you, as we will talk about later. God loves you very much and has a finish for your story that is a happy conclusion, we promise!

If you or a loved one is under the burden of a low inner value, we would like to challenge the lies someone told you about yourself. Perhaps you learned to have shame and low inner value because of what you learned from life in general. Having a low inner value is about believing lies about you, and how to have a high inner value and enthusiasm is about seeing the truth about you. We, as God’s children, (or if you were like me and raised in a bad Christian home), we as children of the Loving Mother Universe, all have the inalienable right to be excited about ourselves, and to be excited about our talents and dreams. As children in our Original Self states, we naturally were excited about life and could not wait to share our enthusiasm with the entire world!

When life takes away this excitement, we lose the reason we came here to earth. When The Loving Mother Universe sent you here, she sent you as a self-contained Promise, and an automatically unfolding Plan for that Promise. Every one of us born unto this beautiful earth has a gift and a message we were to bring to all humanity at large.

Left to our own excitement, our lives would have unfolded spontaneously in perfect timing. The key to this spontaneous unfolding of our lives is our high inner value. We are to share our personal message, gift, or work with the whole world. However, something planned got in the way. If we cannot feel excitement about whom and what we are, then certainly no one else can, for it is no one else’s responsibility to get excited about us, only ourselves.

Why do we say ‘something planned’ got in the way? When we look at life with our physical perspectives only, we see accidents, shortcomings, and mistakes all can happen. However when we look at life with our spiritual perspectives, we see that all things happen for a reason. In other words, your hardship and low ego are not a mistake, but an intentional lesson that God is sending you or your friend through which to learn. In addition, like most things in life that is presently bad, almost unbearable perhaps, the lesson is not complete because you have not learned the happy conclusion part yet. Begin by affirming that ‘everything is purposed,’ as we say in higher metaphysics, and the final lessons will emerge soon, if we look for them.

Reclaiming our true inner value means retracing the steps we took when we gave up our enthusiasm about ourselves in the first place. God gave you birth with a very strong ego, and we are going to get it back! The same road that led us in, will lead us right back out. Here is how it happened.

When you were young, very young perhaps, you experienced hardship beyond that which you were capable of coping. You encountered a training exercise in spiritual warfare. The same role-playing that we use in our Army combat training in the field is exactly the type of training that God uses all the time. When we undergo these scenarios, we can no longer celebrate our inner Wonder Child, because we cannot celebrate ourselves alone.

When very young we need observers to celebrate with us. That is the responsibility of our nurturer-caregivers, or our parents. In the absence of loving parents, our wonder child has to go into hiding, like Moses in the bulrushes at the river. We had to hide our enthusiasm about things, for we learned if we shared it, or worse, followed that enthusiasm, our oppressors would punish us severely. We had to be there for them, since they refused to be there for us.

In lack of a better alternative at the time, we began to give up our personhood rights, one here, and another there, to stay hidden and not offend our oppressors. We needed to survive. We gave up our rights to see things through our own eyes, feel our own feelings, think our own thoughts, and finally to make our own choices, until there was not much of a person left! With all such deep human functions gone, there was not much of a person left to have any high self-esteem!

The Bible explains this soul journey in deep detail, and we call it ‘The Lost Child in Exile Theory.’ This is the life of Jesus, Moses and others in the Bible, and is a representative of all we ourselves go through as we find our soul’s destiny.

You are half way through your journey, and the fun part is still ahead. After we went into hiding to save our sanity, and to appease a hostile authority over us, we gave up our rights to ourselves. Over time the hostile authority, the evil Pharaoh that is seeking to kill you, passes away. This we know in higher metaphysics as ‘The Old Order’ and in its place, now in power is ‘The New Order.’ This New Order is a loving power that waits to welcome you home again to the new prosperous life you now can have.

What this means is the powers that controlled you emotionally as a child are now gone. There is a new friendly power that is now in control, because now you are an adult. As a child, you had to depend on others to get your needs met, and as an adult you are now able to get your own needs met. However to do that you must take responsibility and initiate reclaiming you own personhood all over again, only this time there will be much better results!

Remember john the Baptist crying in the wilderness and proclaiming a new savior, well this website is your John the Baptist claiming you as the new savior of yourself. The old order is gone and the new order is waiting to welcome you home to your self.

We will begin by taking back our personhood rights again and beginning to use them to make a new life and a new high self-esteem. We need to move from our ‘lost in the desert’ setting and journey back to our ‘Promised Land.’ In addition, to do that we need to believe this wonderful lifestyle and place in life is there for us. We promise you that it is! We have been lost in the desert and living in what we call ‘Otherization.’ What that means is we seek to be what others want us to be, so as not to fall into their bad will. We learned about using otherization to survive when we had to keep our feelings quiet so as not to incite the rage of a parent or other hostile authority with which we could not talk.

At that time, we had no choice but to be quiet or suffer their anger. As adults, being what others want us to be to get acceptance is always a bad choice that will always result in soul death. Any time you choose to be or act in a way not authentically ‘you’ will kill self-esteem. Any time you do something that is deeply you is how to have high self-esteem. However, to do that you need to relearn what ‘you’ is.

This is where taking back your four rights of personhood comes in. Those rights are the deepest acts of selfishness, and these rights are always healthy to practice. Those rights are see things through our own eyes, feel our own feelings, think our own thoughts, and finally to make our own choices. In other words, just act in your own best selfish interests.

When we do these things in the presence of others, we deify ourselves, and we make others around us feel secure in our authenticity. Good People love it when you share your truest self with them. However Evil Poisoning People do not like it because they do not want the real you to emerge. They want a weakened needful spirit they can withhold approval from, so that they can control you in your need.

If you want to raise your self-esteem, practice selfishness, and The Good People will come to you and seek your friendship and counsel. If you want to lower your self-esteem, be what someone else wants and Evil Poisoning People will flock into your life to tell you, what you should be for them and that of course is to be a loser.

Good People will come in droves to someone whom is what the person wants to be, whereas Evil People will come in droves to someone whom they can hate and consume with rejection. If you live for yourself, you will experience others who worship you and your rights. If you live for others, you will experience being an audience to some one else. If you are selfish and honorable, you will have friends who are respectful as your audience, and if you are shame based you will be the audience of others who hate you. The evil people will ignore you, but they need to have you as their audience as they ignore you! Such is the spectrum between living in low self-esteem and living in high self-esteem.

Perhaps at first you or your friend cannot be your true self because of much past pain that you or they have to go through. If there was sexual abuse and physical pain, and perhaps emotional abandonment, then what one has to feel is overwhelming. Perhaps you religious teachings are against anger and hate as being evil. This however is not conducive to sound emotional healing.

What you need to do is give yourself permission to feel all your feelings in their full magnitude. This is something that your pastor or therapist does not want you to know, and you will never hear this term from them. We call it your ‘Justified Agenda,’ and what that means simply is allowing yourself to hate the thing that hurt you. If you do not allow yourself to do that, then you will never come home to yourself.

What you or your friend has to do is to start feeling again. That means feeling the bad, such as the broken dreams, the unmet needs, and the sadness of the terrible childhood. It also means getting back in touch with your dreams and passions of your childhood. If you wanted to become a firefighter, astronaut, or if you loved chemistry, (as I did) or if you loved camping, them begin feeling those loves again through your childhood eyes. How to have high self-esteem means seeing things through the impractical and idealistic eyes of your original child self.

What may have happened to you or your friend was not your fault when you were children. We all come here on earth in what we call ‘Original Settings,’ and it is from such settings we receive our lesson plans for our lives. Never are these lessons about how to have low self-esteem or about failing. We are always here to learn how to succeed, how to have high self-esteem, and about those magical talents within that are the basis of our self esteem. Our soul lessons are never about anything else!

We have looked at how to have high self-esteem in a philosophical and spiritual perspective only. However, there is much practical perspective that we each have to address in counseling and therapy along the way. For those of us with enough initiative, we may well complete our own healing by following mile markers in self-help books, and doing our own introspection.

Good positive counseling may be available for little or no cost in a good progressive church or Sunday school class or ‘adult bible fellowship’ as we call them today. This is one of the benefits of attending a good local church of your choice, if you are comfortable with their theology. Another choice is to find a psychotherapist in your community, but the drawback is the cost of therapy, and the structured time expense of sessions each week. Check your church first for free or low cost personal or group counsellings.

For more on this subject please consider our first in series book Overcoming Depression from Emotional Abuse/The Tools of Your Mind. In it, we take you through your spiritual journey back home to your Original Self. We talk about God's purpose behind that soul’s journey, as we follow our heart’s dreams to our ultimate destiny. We answer many questions about selfishness, prosperity, psychotherapy, and finding our dreams and happiness. We share much about boundaries. We also talk about the spiritual controls we have within to bring our good to us. Those controls are our Sincerity Switch, Spontaneity Switch, and lastly our Feelings and Dreams Switch.

Thank you for visiting us today and please keep in touch, sharing your trials and your victories with us. We promise to answer personally every Email that we receive.

Shayne and Lori North in Aurora, Colorado

Overcoming Depression from Emotional Abuse/The Tools of Your Mind The Book

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