Teenage Depression: Dealing with Christian TeenagersTeenage Depression and Dealing with Christian Teenagers in General And Now The Bible Verse of The Day
Teenage Depression Working with teenagers can be the greatest experience of your life, if you keep a few rules of human nature in mind.
Thanks for visiting us. Before we address how to notice and appropriately approach a troubled teen (the Link at the bottom) we will share some insight on working with youth in general. Whether a parent, teacher, coach, or a concerned adult, dealing with Christian youth can be confusing at times. If you are a new leader, relax, you will do just fine! Teenage Depression and Dealing with Christian Teenagers: Teens first, Christians second!
The most important thing of all is this: Whether they are born-again believers with a zeal for their newfound faith, or they are more seasoned believers since their early youth, it does not matter. Dealing with Christian teenagers means remembering that they are teens first, then they are Christians second, and that order will not reverse. Hormones, short term values, and peer pressure, and the biological ‘herding instinct’ that plagues us all in our youth is currently plaguing them. What our Christian Faith does is give us the strength to be good parents. We must be patient and long-suffering towards them, and most of all forgiving.
Teenage Depression: Christian Teenagers and Their Walk A Godly walk is something that will get stronger the longer we walk in our faith. Life cannot endow young adults with the wisdom of us older folks no matter how great a kid they are, and no matter how hard they try to follow in their faith. That level of wisdom is just is not in them. They have not been on this earth long enough to see all the ways of life, God’s ways or otherwise. Remember, we can teach knowledge, but we cannot teach wisdom. What they are in tune with are the terms ‘here,’ ‘now,’ ‘me and my friends,’ and ‘why can’t I have this?’ and other such present tense terms. Forget about trying to explain the concept of money or scarcity, which just is not going to happen! Teenage Depression and Christian Teenagers: Go by your gut feeling in any situation with them The suggested remedies we will talk about here will not have that much to do with specifics, such as ‘you should not let them date before age 16.’ The reason is because if we get too much into specifics, they will not apply to all teens, for young people mature at different rates and at different ages, so to set a general standard is not specific enough in every case. You know your youth group better than anyone does, and what will work with their growth timetable and what will not. For that reason we are going to focus more on the application of character, since that is what they readily relate to and they will notice above all else. Teenage Depression: Christian Teenagers and Consistency
The first principle to apply is consistency. Whatever standard we may set for our group, and their activities, be sure we are consistent. Be sure if we set a rule or standard, that we apply it to all the children, as well as ourself. We must include ourself in our rules, for them to see the reason for having standards. It is a short step in their minds to justify the breaking of a rule by disobedience if they see that mom, dad or Youth Pastor Sanchez break it for themselves under certain conditions. That is all the reason they need to see life on their terms and to ignore ours. Our parents admonished us to ‘do as we tell you to do, do not do as we do.’ That of course was an example of the gravest of stupidity! Teenage Depression: Christian Teenagers and Character The next principle to apply is character. This application has not just to do with what we would allow or not allow our teenager in their lives. It has more so to do with our life. This is not just with our allegiance to our church and to our circle of friends there, but with how we respect all others in our community. It also has to do with how we handle our emotions and if we handle setbacks with dignity. How we conduct our personal affairs with other adults, how we conduct ourself with our employer in the discharge of our duties, and most importantly, how we live up to the obligations to other adults in our relationships. Teenage Depression: Christian Teenagers and Imitation You would think that how adults regard other adults in their relationships would be the last thing our teens would notice, that is not true. Unbelievably, that is the most noticeable thing our teens will ever see about us. All young adults instinctively key in on how we adults perceive and treat others in our neighborhood, work, church, and community at large. If we take some time to speak with a distressed neighbor about a property matter when we are in a hurry, our teens will notice. They will pick up clearly that we value community highly, and we seek to serve.
If we talk politely and with interest about another person’s computer problem, our teenagers will see. Our young adults will acquire the exact attitude we have for our duties to life. Where this will have positive effect is when we place conditions on their activities, they will see our obedience to the conditions in our life, and respond in kind. Teenage Depression: Christian Teenagers and Equity The next principle in dealing with Christian teenagers is the concept of equity. What this will do is to teach our Christian teenagers about the reason for differences in roles that we play in life. Some roles demand more responsibility, and thusly carry more privileges, and other roles demand less responsibility and thusly carry fewer privileges. What effort we put out in life will result in relative responsibility and privileges in return.
Responsibility without rewards will send the wrong message to our teenagers. We do not saddle our Christian teenagers with our workload and use them for our convenience without paying them back in some way. Teenage Depression: Christian Teenagers and Our Personal Ego The last concept we will talk about in dealing with Christian teenagers is we must leave our ego out of our parenting or supervising. We are to be their teacher, coach, supervisor, or parent. While the bonds of love are strong between us, we are not their best friend. They already have their best friends. We are not here to marry them or create spiritual unification between them and us. It is not our Christian teenager’s responsibility to give us our sense of meaning and fullness in life as an adult. That is our responsibility to find it for ourself before being a leader.Once our emotional needs are met, then we can be emotionally available to them, that is called nurturing. Teenage Depression: Christian Teenagers and Rules We must cautious if we are one of those teachers, coaches, or church leaders who have the weakness of wanting them to like us, and ‘to be one of the gang.’ Remember, by nature, our teenager will quickly learn the fine art of manipulation to get what he or she wants. All teenagers pick up instantly on a few things, such as do we have any weaknesses like an exploitable need of approval from them. They will soon start giving us hints that if we did this or that, we would be the greatest. They may try the trick of comparing us to a previous parent, or other parents, or church leader to extract their will. Do not fall for it. They are not interested in building our popularity with their group; they are interested only in going to the amusement park so they can be with their friends. Teenagers may even threaten with rejection if they think we have a weakness for it, because they do not know how much it hurts. Even parents are not immune to that trick. Teenage Depression: Christian Teenagers and Letting Them Go
Parenting, coaching, teaching, or being a group leader requires thick skin sometimes. Eventually all teenagers will leave, and not always will they say thanks. The only satisfaction will come from knowing within that you did the best you could do. If you have given it your best, and were most sincere with them, then you will have done a great job. You must feel that from within, for rarely will they be able to tell you that. As parents, coaches, and youth leaders, we do not receive report cards, for only kids in school do. You are a responsible leader or parent; otherwise, you would not be here seeking to better your relationship skills. Teenage Depression: Christian Teenagers and Doing Things in Your Style One final point of advice in dealing with Christian teenagers is; each parent, coach, and leader is different. No two adults will have the same lessons to teach to the young persons in their charge. What the teenagers in your care have to learn is your gift to them. No other adult will have the same gift as you do, and your gift is very special. Your relationship to each of them will be different from another adult’s relationship. Do not copycat, be yourself. In dealing with Christian teenagers that is what they want, the real you. By being your authentic self, you are teaching them to be their authentic selves. Years later, they will remember you with deepest respect. God bless in your walk with Christ and your ministry to your son, daughter, church or neighborhood youth group. If you are not affiliated with any church, but are involved in community and youth work only, remember, non-religious is not necessarily non-godly. One of the strengths of teens in general is a profound ability to recognize sincerity, capitalize on that! God has still sent you into the lives of these young people because you have something to offer them. Be yourself and share yourself unreservedly with them, and they will grow up stronger for it. Thanks for visiting! Shayne and Lori North in Aurora, Colorado
Recognizing Teen Depression
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