The Other Story of Emotional Abuse

by Timothy
(Milpitas, California)

I am 24 years old and have an interesting story. Growing up, I had never had an easy time with life and family. I had a hard time in school and when I did I would often get yelled at, then left alone.


My parents would tell me that I'm a loser, stupid, and would often get mocked by my own mother. My mother would yell "loser" with a big "L" (gesture made with hands) in my face. Other times she would threaten my well being if I didn't do what I was told.


Days, turned to weeks, weeks turned to months, months turned to years and today, those years turned into a decade. I was always scared of saying anything to anyone because I could not find the words to say what was happening in fear of the after affects for talking.


I kept thinking, if I say something, I would be put down harshly for saying false things that really aren't false. My parents would act like the most loving parents on the outside world, but behind closed doors they would take off their masks and go back to telling me that I am a failure and worthless.


Often I had a hard time talking about it with other people because they always told me "Your parents love you, they wouldn't do anything like that to you." Which made things even harder because that's the only thing other people saw in my parents.


People always say that parents love their children. Symbolically speaking, people will always see what they see on the movie screen and often get stuck with the stuff they see on the silver screen but often forget that there will always be things they will never see (what really does happen behind the scenes).



Movie directors will never, ever, by all means, never show the bad stuff that may have happened while the movie was being made. It would certainly deter people from seeing that movie. Same goes for my life and I've never been able to express or talk about the stuff that my parents did to me when growing up.


I never did mention that my parents made me feel so bad, so worthless that I cannot count how many times I've cried myself to sleep. I now suffer from physical ailments. Anxiety, depression, and nausea. It's taking me a whole lot of effort to recover but has been the hardest battle I've ever had to face.


Today I see my parents and they have never changed. I know now I cannot go to them for any support or advice. This may sound harsh but trust me, walk in my shoes and you'll get a better picture.


The predicament has left me with stuff I will never forget and I often feel anxious about my future. The thing I would advise to others who have been where I've been is this: Learn to be resourceful. Learn to never give up. It may be hard to let go of past experiences but I'm sure there is a way.


It's up to you to say "Hey, I will not give up until I finally see the best that life has to offer". But don't forget to never over aim and be as realistic as possible. It may seem hard now but remember, people have done it in the past. It's not going to be what you see in the movies but that doesn't mean it's not possible one way or another.


Hi Timothy,
Welcome to our home. The deepest hurt you can ever feel is that caused by words and meanings of messages. The lack of physical damage does not mean that your spirit cannot be crushed completely by what your parents did to you with speaking.


I can tell you by the way you write, you are extremely brilliant and a very well meaning person. Your message will stay here for others to take inspiration from permanently.


I like your referral of our lives being like a movie production spiritually, and that is very telling, because I made the same connection myself in seventh grade. That tells me how much you respect life in general, and that is very good.


You are definitely one of the finest men, and even now your good will and pure spirit do show through. You were a child of great virtue, and are a very honorable man today.


Your parents could not see it then, but we want you to see it and feel it in yourself. You deserve the best life can offer. We will be so proud of you when you achieve it, and you will!

Tears happen when I write this.

God bless


Shayne and Lori North

This moment of sharing brought to you by:

Our Book Overcoming Depression from Emotional Abuse/The Tools of Your Mind.